Really, Schmooie, A Smiley Face?

What a lot of these Schmooie wanna-be’s like to do is keep a pleasant distance, but still be able to spy and pretend to admire you, by using facebook as their weapon of choice. I can count how many loser Schmooie wanna-be’s I've met in social settings who have asked me if I have a facebook page, and then friend me only to leave me pointless comments or e-mails that lead nowhere. They want to keep in contact with me for no apparent reason. No, they’re not trying to flirt or get to know me better. They just want to waste time. Now, mind you, I don’t mind these Schmooie wanna-be’s just being friends. I like having facebook hanger-on’s. But it’s irritating when you meet that person at a mixer and then they act interested in you, only to become your facebook friend and nothing more. Not sexy, just sad, just lame. It screams out: “I have fun with you can we just be invisible friends and I can stalk your every move through your status updates?”

One of those particular Schmooie wanna-be’s who shall remain nameless, but who I have posted about before on this blog, e-mailed me yesterday on facebook with the LAMEST E-MAIL I HAVE EVER RECEIVED! Yes, he deserved a trophy of some kind for his efforts. So, indeed, I find it very appropriate to share it here. He’d been e-mailing me back and forth through facebook for awhile now with pointless little updates on what he’d been up to that I didn’t really care about. At first, I thought those pointless little updates meant he wanted to talk more and get to know me more since that first time we had met in person. Figuring he was shy to take the next step, I offered on two occasions that we should do something together. He ignored that part of my e-mails, but would answer the other parts. I realized he wasn’t interested in meeting up again, so I gave up and simply responded to his pointless e-mails to be nice.

Yesterday, he e-mailed and asked what I was doing. I told him I was in a coffee shop working on something. He said he was doing the same thing as well. I told him about some of the interesting adventures I had had that day. He replied with “Wow sounds fun. :) We should work together at a coffee shop one day.” Then he ended with asking if a particular coffee shop that he goes to is close to me...Now, isn’t that special? We’ll work together at a coffee shop one day? One day…So, dude, was that your indirect angling for an invite or was that just another one of your lofty ambitions that will never happen? I knew this guy pretty well and understood it to be the latter not the former. Still, I decided to be nice and reply, knowing not to read too deeply into him, and realizing that he will never actually want to go anywhere. Since he said, we should go to a coffee shop “one day.” I said, “Sure, I’m up for that sometime.” I asked where the coffee shop was. He gave me a vague intersection. I said I knew where the place was. Then he sent back the official stupidest reply anyone could ever send a person. He simply replied with a smiley face with it’s tongue sticking out!!....*banging head against the desk*….What does that mean?! How am I supposed to respond to that?! Seeing as I was confused as to whether he was actually offering to hang out or not, I expected a reply with some sort of information, you know words, language, even if that information involved changing the subject. Instead, all I got back was a smiley face sticking it’s tongue out at me?!

Now, how would you reading this blog reply to that e-mail? I simply sent back the same thing: a smiley with it’s tongue sticking out.  I figured he wouldn’t respond back after that, and he didn’t. Well, a few hours later, he did respond by changing the subject. Ah, what a dweeb.