Diners for Schmooie

The meeting of Shy Boy’s parents with my mother and sister was a great success. The only irritating thing that occurred happened about an hour or so before we had to get ready to leave. Out of nowhere, my mother became antsy, restless and bemoaned to me, “Does Shy Boy have serious intentions or are you just wasting each other’s time?” I got irritated, and she responded begrudgingly, “I have to know so that I know how to behave tonight!”  What the heck did that mean? She had always gotten along well with Shy Boy. She got along great with his mother the one time they did meet each other. Just because his father was going to join us didn’t make things any different. It wasn’t meant to be a serious evening. It was a chance for both parents to meet to celebrate Shy Boy’s father’s birthday. I became annoyed and told her that Shy Boy was serious about a relationship, marriage minded, but that I wasn’t ready for that yet.

Did that put an end to the discussion? Of course not, I have a Jewish mother. Instead of being happy that I have a boy toy who wants to be in a serious relationship, she countered, “Your eggs are going to dry up. They’ll be dried up by the time you’re (age left out on purpose but I assure you it’s a young age). The chances of having a baby with physical or mental problems go up exponentially after a certain age.”

Doesn’t help that in a month, I will be the age she mentioned at which my eggs should be dried up. Should I throw a party? Or wait, am I going to experience burping, diarrhea, or any of those other symptoms people experience on those random medication commercials?

I was pretty damn annoyed at that point, so I went for a walk. I called Shy Boy and told him my eggs were about to dry up. His parents were in the room (not on speaker of course) and the sudden quiet on the other end of the line, the speechlessness on his part, was rather amusing. When everyone arrived at the designated restaurant, things turned around for the better. My mom loved his dad. Everyone had tons to schmooze (chit-chat) about. His mother was so excited about Shy Boy taking me on a cruise that my mother actually caught the enthusiasm and became gung-ho on the idea herself; but not before some mild embarrassment when his mother asked if I was excited to go and my mother injected that I didn’t want to go on a cruise. I hate it when my mother speaks for me in front of his mother. Afterall, I'm trying to make nice with his mother. The two mothers then began to speak for both Shy Boy and myself as they weighed the pros and cons of a cruise, as if neither of us was sitting right there in front of them, and both came to an agreement that a cruise was a great idea. Shy Boy later said that he was a bit disappointed the two mothers didn’t get all mushy about weddings. He was prepared for me to crush his hand under the table if the subject came up. The only other embarrassing thing that occurred that night was that his mother and my mother are on different sides of the political aisle. I was afraid they were going to talk about the economy, but Shy Boy steered his mother away from the topic just as quickly as she got onto the topic. He was being such a sweet, diplomatic boy that everyone at the table (except my sister of course) had to give him a complement and I felt compelled to kiss his cheek in front of everyone. It was the first public display of affection I've shown him in front of my mother, aside from a peck I usually give him to greet him hello if my family is present. My sister came from work starving and ended up liking the food much more than she anticipated. My mother was having such fun she managed to find something on the menu that pleased her as well. Although our waitress messed up my mother’s order and was rude about it at first, Shy Boy’s father smooth talked the waitress and by the end all were friends.

The weekend with Shy Boy’s family was not over yet. Shy Boy’s parents arrived for a friend’s wedding. The wedding was taking place in Shy Boy’s hometown which was two hours away. His mother wanted Shy Boy and I to drive out there and spend the night at a hotel. She and her husband were celebrating their 35^th wedding anniversary. She wanted Shy Boy, his brother, his new sister in-law, and me to join her and her husband in a celebration at a fancy restaurant. More on that in the following blog post…..