Hotels for Schmooie

Shy Boy’s parents were visiting the area for a friend’s wedding. Their arrival coincided with their 35^th wedding anniversary as well as with Shy Boy’s father’s birthday. Shy Boy’s mother wanted Shy Boy and I to take a road trip to the town Shy Boy grew up in. She wanted Shy Boy, his brother, his sister in-law, and me to have a big family dinner with them in a restaurant in order to celebrate their 35^th anniversary. Therefore, Shy Boy and I hit the road to a hotel in Shy Boy’s hometown. On the way, we had to drive over a very famous bridge that’s been featured in several movies, including “Saturday Night Fever.” As we approached the bridge, Shy Boy switched on some Bee Gees music to commemorate the event. He was a very brave driver, navigating some of the busiest, narrowest, treacherous roadways I’d never want to touch.

When we got to the hotel, Shy Boy called his parents. Turned out they were staying at a different hotel. Even though he was taking good care of me, there was something strange about being in a hotel all alone with him. It felt very couple-like, very grown-up. He insisted on paying for everything, including the hotel and all the exorbitant tolls we had to drive through on the journey. The very bare minimum I could do at least was to pay for a soda at the vending machine. He almost didn’t even want me to do that. We were racing each other to pull quarters out of our wallets the fastest and get them in the machine before the other person did first. (Sick really. I’m glad no one was watching.)

We had a nice room with a lousy lock. At first we couldn’t even get into the room because the lock didn’t want to respond to any of the key cards. Inside the room, we had our own microwave and mini-fridge as well as HBO cable, a nice sized bathroom with fancy Neutrogenia bath supplies, a desk, an armchair, and two queen sized beds. Shy Boy looked like he really needed a nap. But he didn’t want to sleep knowing his parents were coming in fifteen minutes. Instead, he gave me a passionate kiss before we headed to the lobby to wait for his parents. His parents had already arrived and were waiting in the lobby of our nice hotel with its big band music coming from the loudspeakers and a teenaged looking concierge who couldn’t quite handle his job. I got to know his parents better as we chatted for a good twenty minutes. They were very sweet, upbeat people. Shy Boy’s father liked to playfully make fun of his wife. She liked to act slightly helpless about changing the time on the dinner reservation so that her husband would feel useful. She was completely capable of handling herself, but had to play the game with the male species. We talked about our families while Shy Boy looked ready to doze off from the long car ride. His mother kept insisting he go take a nap, but he didn’t want to. After around twenty minutes of chatting, Shy Boy and I went back to our room to change our clothes for dinner. We were going to be eating at a very fancy restaurant that was one of Shy Boy’s mother’s favorite places.

We embarked down a busy highway that led to a pretty little downtown area. Apparently, this restaurant was a place that Shy Boy and his family used to go to whenever there was a special occasion. The restaurant was packed with people. The entrance way looked right into kitchen where chickens were roasting on rotisserie grills and chefs were cooking meats on wide open wild flamed stoves. While we waited for our table, Shy Boy’s mother took us outside to take pictures. At that moment, Shy Boy’s brother and sister in-law arrived. Shy Boy’s mother took some more pictures. Then we went back inside the restaurant to look for Shy Boy’s father. 

Our table finally opened up and I was surprised to discover that this restaurant was one of those Portuguese places where the waiters come by and give you unlimited amounts of meats and food on skewers until you tell them to stop. We ate and ate. Shy Boy’s mother couldn’t get enough of the sister in-law and I showering her in complements about her sons. Shy Boy’s parents were darling people. Both Shy Boy and his brother are much quieter than their parents. Both parents were very sweet caring people and it was clear in the way they talked about their family that they weren’t trying to act bubbly just to impress me. I got the sense that they wanted to take good care of me and not just because I was new but because they genuinely cared. Shy Boy admitted to me several months ago that he once had a fiancé. He dated a girl for seven months and wanted to marry her, but it fizzled out because her parents were intrusive and she became increasingly cold toward him. As I’m typing now about Shy Boy’s family, I can’t believe how kind and caring they were to me and that there was some other girl at some point who didn’t appreciate this affection. Shy Boy’s family got along so well with my family because there was so much similarity. We all shared a very strong love for Judaism, Israel, food, and pop culture. Meanwhile, it was clear that while Shy Boy’s parents cared dearly about their children, they didn’t want to rule over their children or tell them how to lead their lives. To top it off, they were also great storytellers and a lot of fun to talk and to listen to.

Shy Boy’s mother insisted I take home any leftovers to bring to my own family. We were spending the night at the hotel, but our hotel had a fridge and she didn’t want anything to go to waste. She insisted on ordering me desert as well. The next day, she wanted Shy Boy and me to go to breakfast with her and some old friends of hers and that afterward we should drive past the house and old neighborhood where Shy Boy grew up. We all said our goodbyes for the evening and Shy Boy and I headed back to the hotel.

Now mind you, I’ve slept in Shy Boy’s apartment before, but never in the same room as him before. I guess it was good practice for going on that seven day cruise with him. We cuddled in his bed and watched some tv for awhile. He was as mushy and romantic as always. He joked that the double beds was just like being Rob and Laura Petrie. (The dude has an obsession with the Dick Van Dyke show.) When it was time to go to sleep, I discovered an alarming fact about him. I told him he could use the bathroom first to brush his teeth. And he replied that he doesn’t really brush his teeth at night.

…Whaaa???

Or as they say in animes: Eeehhhh?!? 

>_<     x.x     .0.

As a person in the oral health care field, I was aghast. I could not believe I had to give him the whole “brush twice a day especially at night” discussion like he was an eight year old kid! Seesh, no wonder he had so many fillings. My scientific reasoning or good Jewish guilt, what have you, broke him down and he went to brush his teeth. Meanwhile, I really digged the whole double beds thing. I loved cuddling with him for awhile, and then retreating to my own bed to spread out in for the night. I told him if we had to live together that we should have do the whole Rob and Laura Petrie double bed thing. “Hell no,” was his response. He was so cute and fun to talk to in the next bed over in the dark, even when he started making silly clicking sounds with his tongue because he couldn’t sleep. Finally, sleepiness hit him, and he turned over and said, “Before I lose consciousness, I just want to tell you I love you. Have a good night. And I’ll see you in the morning.” He was quiet for the whole night, no snoring, except for the fact that he blurted out something incoherent in his sleep. When I asked what was up, he said, “I don’t know I’ll go back to sleep and I’ll let you know.” He couldn’t remember even having such a conversation the next morning when he woke me up with a kiss before using the shower.

We had breakfast with his mother and her former colleagues at a cheap old fashioned diner while Shy Boy’s father was off having his own adventure with his rental car in another part of town. They were all adorable bubbly women. Shy Boy’s mother was clearly their leader making sure that they all got together with each other whenever they were all in town at the same time. Then we drove over to the house Shy Boy grew up in. He lived in the coolest development as a kid. Why? Because every street was named after a type of candy! He grew up on Candy Lane. We dropped off his mother at the mall. Traffic was already bad in the early mid-day, so Shy Boy decided it‘d be best to start the two hour drive home before traffic made it a three-plus hour drive. I come away from that weekend feeling a much stronger connection to Shy Boy. I enjoy hanging around his immediate family. I love that they treated me like family. Having him around doesn’t scare me as much as it used to. 

Diners for Schmooie

The meeting of Shy Boy’s parents with my mother and sister was a great success. The only irritating thing that occurred happened about an hour or so before we had to get ready to leave. Out of nowhere, my mother became antsy, restless and bemoaned to me, “Does Shy Boy have serious intentions or are you just wasting each other’s time?” I got irritated, and she responded begrudgingly, “I have to know so that I know how to behave tonight!”  What the heck did that mean? She had always gotten along well with Shy Boy. She got along great with his mother the one time they did meet each other. Just because his father was going to join us didn’t make things any different. It wasn’t meant to be a serious evening. It was a chance for both parents to meet to celebrate Shy Boy’s father’s birthday. I became annoyed and told her that Shy Boy was serious about a relationship, marriage minded, but that I wasn’t ready for that yet.

Did that put an end to the discussion? Of course not, I have a Jewish mother. Instead of being happy that I have a boy toy who wants to be in a serious relationship, she countered, “Your eggs are going to dry up. They’ll be dried up by the time you’re (age left out on purpose but I assure you it’s a young age). The chances of having a baby with physical or mental problems go up exponentially after a certain age.”

Doesn’t help that in a month, I will be the age she mentioned at which my eggs should be dried up. Should I throw a party? Or wait, am I going to experience burping, diarrhea, or any of those other symptoms people experience on those random medication commercials?

I was pretty damn annoyed at that point, so I went for a walk. I called Shy Boy and told him my eggs were about to dry up. His parents were in the room (not on speaker of course) and the sudden quiet on the other end of the line, the speechlessness on his part, was rather amusing. When everyone arrived at the designated restaurant, things turned around for the better. My mom loved his dad. Everyone had tons to schmooze (chit-chat) about. His mother was so excited about Shy Boy taking me on a cruise that my mother actually caught the enthusiasm and became gung-ho on the idea herself; but not before some mild embarrassment when his mother asked if I was excited to go and my mother injected that I didn’t want to go on a cruise. I hate it when my mother speaks for me in front of his mother. Afterall, I'm trying to make nice with his mother. The two mothers then began to speak for both Shy Boy and myself as they weighed the pros and cons of a cruise, as if neither of us was sitting right there in front of them, and both came to an agreement that a cruise was a great idea. Shy Boy later said that he was a bit disappointed the two mothers didn’t get all mushy about weddings. He was prepared for me to crush his hand under the table if the subject came up. The only other embarrassing thing that occurred that night was that his mother and my mother are on different sides of the political aisle. I was afraid they were going to talk about the economy, but Shy Boy steered his mother away from the topic just as quickly as she got onto the topic. He was being such a sweet, diplomatic boy that everyone at the table (except my sister of course) had to give him a complement and I felt compelled to kiss his cheek in front of everyone. It was the first public display of affection I've shown him in front of my mother, aside from a peck I usually give him to greet him hello if my family is present. My sister came from work starving and ended up liking the food much more than she anticipated. My mother was having such fun she managed to find something on the menu that pleased her as well. Although our waitress messed up my mother’s order and was rude about it at first, Shy Boy’s father smooth talked the waitress and by the end all were friends.

The weekend with Shy Boy’s family was not over yet. Shy Boy’s parents arrived for a friend’s wedding. The wedding was taking place in Shy Boy’s hometown which was two hours away. His mother wanted Shy Boy and I to drive out there and spend the night at a hotel. She and her husband were celebrating their 35^th wedding anniversary. She wanted Shy Boy, his brother, his new sister in-law, and me to join her and her husband in a celebration at a fancy restaurant. More on that in the following blog post…..

Behave yourself! Just behave yourself!

Friday night will be a head bangingly eventful night. Shy Boy’s parents are coming to town for the weekend, and my family will be having dinner with Shy Boy’s family. This won’t be the first time my family has met Shy Boy’s mother. She came for a visit several months ago and met up with my mother and sister to get to know each other and go shopping. They enjoyed each other’s company for the most part.  However, this will be the first time Shy Boy’s father will be up for a visit, so now the whole families each will get to know one another. I’m not particularly nervous. What I am is annoyed. Why? Because of family nudgey (complainy) behavior! This will be part of a birthday celebration for Shy Boy’s father while he is visiting town. He’s a huge fan of a particular Food Network show involving diners and dives. When he discovered a diner near Shy Boy’s apartment was featured on that particular show, he decided that’s the place he wants us all to meet up at. A month ago, Shy Boy and I went to that diner to check it out. We picked up a take-home menu as well. My family is not big on diners, but Shy Boy’s family loves diners. I thought the food was okay, not stellar just average, and a tad pricey for a diner. Still, I figured the birthday boy should have his way and get to try out the place. Maybe he’ll like it, and seeing as I’m already somewhat anti-diner I might be biased anyway. It’s certainly not a bad enough place that it would ruin a birthday celebration.

All was well, until my family took a look at the menu and that’s where the annoyingness comes in. I’m certain they will embarrass me. My mother doesn’t dig the prices of anything on the menu. Sure, the place is sort of snobby. I hate that they make you pay extra to share a dish with someone or to get extra fixings on a burger or the fact that they don’t allow substitutions. But all in all, my family is usually not that fussy about asking for substitutions or extras anyway. My mother is now telling me we ought to share something and do it quietly so no one will notice and charge us extra. Where is this ridiculous stinginess coming from?! It’s not that expensive an eatery, it’s just a tad overpriced. More importantly, Shy Boy’s mother is very astute and she’ll surely notice that one of us doesn’t have our own entrée! Then my mother thinks aloud maybe instead it’d be best if we just ate a little bit ahead of time and ordered something extremely small. One of the biggest things my mother hated that her own mother would do was to eat ahead of time before going to a restaurant. So why is she suddenly channeling my grandmother?!  Can’t you please please just order a small sandwich or salad and not make a ridiculous deal of this? Most likely, we’ll split the bill between the families. Each of us is a family of three anyway. Mind you, we have the money to go out for an evening like this. If it were a fancy restaurant, I don’t think this would be a problem. Just because it’s a place my mother and sister can’t agree about eating at, they have to make trouble.

 
I tried to vent my embarrassment over the issue with my sister. Not a great idea. The sister is not a huge fan of Shy Boy to begin with. She likes him, but she’ll jump at any chance behind his back to tell me about something extremely minor and stupid he does. She says it’s all his fault I’m in this predicament. She says Shy Boy’s father is so excited to try a diner featured on tv, he’s probably not aware that it’s an overpriced place. He should show his father the menu. From what I know of Shy Boy’s father, that wouldn’t stop him from wanting to try the place. He’s very interested in trying new places for himself and forming his own opinion. My sister says I should persuade Shy Boy to show his parents the menu and encourage another restaurant. See, she has no idea what it’s like to be in a guy’s mind. Sure if it were my sister or I trying out a new restaurant, we’d think about whether or not our mom might like to go there and probably she’d just ignore us and make her own decision anyway. Boys don’t think like that! They just do what they’re told. They don’t go into restaurants and sit down all genteelly wondering, “Goodness me. Shall I take my parents here?” Unless the restaurant is supremely awful, a guy is just not going to think about things like that. For crying out loud! I am so supportive of my sister when she has guy trouble or has trouble getting along with my mom and this is how she decides to behave?! Why do we have to make this such an ordeal?! All I’m asking is for you two to dress nice and act nice to Shy Boy’s parents. Why do we have to make adjustments that suit the two of you for no reason?!

Well, after Friday night is through, I’m supposed to go with Shy Boy on a road trip to his hometown for the weekend. It’s going to be a Shy Boy filled frenzy. Not only am I spending the night in a hotel room with him for the first time, but we’re going to meet up with his parents at some point and have an evening with them and Shy Boy’s brother and sister in-law. It will be a heck of a lot to write up here, but it’s sure to be head bangingly eventful. Please excuse my absence if it takes me awhile to write up about the weekend events. I’ll either be busy or going into hiding. You understand, I’m sure.  

Sailing for Schmooie

It’s time for a little update since yesterday’s blog post. Something happened that made me further aware of what an incredible person Shy Boy really is and why I love being around him. After posting yesterday’s blog, I finally had a realization. It’s the little things Shy Boy does to show me he loves me that I find romantic. Surprising me with roses on Valentines’ Day; or taking me on a train to a certain famous city and then kissing me while we wait for the train; or voluntarily offering my sister to hang out with us so she won't feel left out are all little things that make him endearing to me. Then why does a huge sweeping romantic gesture of buying me a cruise ticket and paying my airfare irk me so much? Sounds like something any women would dream a man would do for her. What bothers me about it is not work related as I’ve previously thought. I could be in a stable job right now that I enjoy and I still would react the same way. Work is not the true reason why I was bothered so much by the fact that he booked a glamorous trip for two.

After I got the e-mail confirming all the plans, I got angry at Shy Boy and didn’t return any of his calls or go on facebook to speak to him. It was a silly thing to do really. How could he know I was angry? I hadn’t given him any indication of the fact. Call it a moment of immaturity that I had to get off my chest. After the twenty four hour sanctions against him, I called him up. I wasn’t angry anymore. I realized I was acting batty. And I missed him. Most of all, I had to talk things out with him. Our conversation started the way it always did, asking about each other’s day, talking about the crazy people we ran into. He asked if I got the e-mail from Jetblue. I told him I did, but that was the only talk we did about the trip for awhile. It wasn’t until about a half hour into our conversation that I finally brought up the issue. I was scared to bring up the topic, and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He was already very excited about the trip. Meanwhile, I didn’t know whether I wanted to give him back the tickets. I just needed to tell him how I was feeling and try to reason it out.

I couldn’t quite put my feelings into words. I tried to explain it all from the beginning. I told him when I received the e-mail, I didn’t feel quite right about it. I felt alright about the cruise earlier in the week, but once the plane tickets had been confirmed, I felt strange, I felt unhappy. I tried to elaborate, but I couldn’t get the words out. There was a pause as I nervously tried to fish for the reasons for my feelings. Hearing the pause, he offered to fill the words in for me.

He said, “Let me try to guess what’s bothering you. Is it the money?” Partially.
“The going away together?” Definitely.
“Moving too fast?” Bingo.

He hit all three nails on the head in less than a minute. It was as if he could read my mind. He wasn’t angry. His feelings weren’t hurt. He wasn’t shocked or surprised, instead he was instantly sympathetic. He said, “Oh wow. I didn’t want to make you feel that way.” He explained that he had always wanted to go on a nice trip with his saved up vacation time. Originally, he was going to go on sort of a mission trip to Israel, but since meeting me he thought a cruise would be a fun thing to do together. I haven’t been feeling well the past two days (girlie problems, don’t ask) and I wasn’t sure if that was playing with my emotions and rationality. He told me to give it a few days, wait until I felt better, and then think about what I’d like to do. He said he didn’t want to pressure or overwhelm me into anything. He was instantly so sweet and understanding about everything where I couldn’t express myself. He really understood me. I love him for that. It’s the little things like that that make me know he’s a winner. Even if people like my sister can’t see those amazing qualities in him, I can.

A very wise sensei  gave me some insight into the topic, which was a real eye-opener. I hope that sensei won’t mind me paraphrasing some of those thoughts here. The idea of commitment is  what's freaking me out. It sounds so official. People expect you to make plans together. Then there are the long-term plans that begin to arise. I don’t like looking far out into the future, but that’s not the real issue here. The real issue is whether I see myself with this person. Do I still want to be with him come October when the cruise is set to sail? The answer is yes. I don’t have to think about it. I know I want him around. I don’t like change. I’ve spent a long time not having a boy toy in my life. The realization that this boy toy, this wonderful sweet caring person has come along is a bit frightening.  But it’s a good feeling to know that he’s the mature one of the two of us. He makes plans, he wants to gently move things along while minding my own comfort level. Most girls get stuck with guys who won’t commit, who want to flounder around being the eternal high school student and never want to make an adult decision. I got lucky and found one who likes to move things along. Plus he’s capable of planning exciting things and has the ability to organize it into fruition. He’s a not a negative person who talks himself out of adventure. I just want to thank that sensei for helping me see the light not just in this situation, but for helping me through the darkness when I was certain I’d never find a good Schmooie wanna-be to have around. Now if only I could get my sister on board with liking Shy Boy. That will have to wait for a future blog post.

Cruising for Schmooie

Forgive the lack of Schmooie post lately. I was waiting for something good. I don't like to write posts with lots of romance. I'm not against romance or talking about my romances, I just don't want to turn this blog into something mushy when I look at it as something funny with mush mixed in in heathy doses. Since I’ve been slacking lately in getting you the valuable entertaining information that I try to put out, this post will be a series of things going through my head right now. First off, Valentines’ Day with Shy Boy was very nice. It was more of a VD weekend (yep, I use those initials on purpose because, frankly, the term “VD” to denote Valentines’ Day makes me giggle). We spent part of it creating a dating profile for my sister. I meant to write a blog post about it, but that’ll have to wait until next time. I’m too annoyed at the moment to post about the hilarity of that situation. On the actual VD day I was supposed to get a surprise at the door. Two dozen multicolored roses finally arrived. Then we went out in our fanciest duds to a steakhouse with all you can eat salad bar. We were the best dressed people there.

Something has changed about him. I can’t pinpoint if the change occured when he returned from his holiday trip to visit his parents or when I had to spend the night due to inclement weather. The good thing is the change has been for the better. When I first knew him, I just wanted someone to hang out with even though he digged me a lot more than I digged him. For awhile, I started to worry I was forcing a relationship because there was no one else and nothing else going on, so why not enjoy the fact that someone was giving me attention. But eventually, after a weekend extravaganza road trip to go with him to a family wedding (his brother was getting married) I started to like him more. By the time winter rolled around, I really did like him back, even loved him. He started off as a very shy somewhat awkward person, but as he’s gotten to know me, he’s let down his guard and showed me that he is a funny guy who can handle himself.

Now for whatever reason, he’s gone on what he calls a “detox.” He’s a bit heavyset and since coming back from his parent’s house, he’s decided to do something about it. Maybe the sudden surge in confidence he's been displaying over the past two months can be blamed on the fact that he’s feeling better about himself and feels less winded. Or maybe he’s just comfortable enough around me and trusts me enough to be himself. In any case, I really like the new found confidence he’s showing. He’s broken the shell he needed time to come out of, which is somewhat exciting. My sister likes him much more than she did before but she still thinks he’s a bit dull and annoying. Well, everyone else likes him. My mom has gone quiet on the subject. I’m still not sure whether that’s a good thing or not.

...Which brings me to the rest of today’s blog. It’s more or a gripe really. Shy Boy decided to plan a cruise trip in the fall. I wasn’t too keen on the idea. I have no idea where I’ll be in that time with my career. I’m currently living in limbo in two different States in the country. Actually, this blog post was meant to be an amusing one about the fact that he thinks I’m six months younger than him and booked the cruise that way, so what should I do: keep the secret or let it out. But then I got an e-mail from JetBlue. I reluctantly went along on the cruise idea. I wanted to hold off buying the airline tickets though. We’re still months and months away from the event. He went ahead and booked the airline tickets anyway. Tickets for two leaving from this State on the East coast. And I got angry. I’m being good and not calling him to chew his ear off, instead I’m venting here on the ole blog. I don’t want to over react just yet, but here are my thoughts.

I know a lot of women would find it romantic or exciting that a man would go along and plan a trip like this, but it only made me angry. Did I ask you to book this for me? I told you I’d think about it every time you brought it up. Isn’t that clue enough that I’m not interested? I’d rather do something more exciting, personally. But it’s not that that’s the problem. The problem is you’re in a stable place right now with your career and I’m not. I’m trying to get that straightened out and I don’t need you uselessly interfering with idiotic romantic intentions! I want nothing more to go back to my beloved state back West. No, its not you holding me back, like you’re so worried about. It’s something in me. Something that misses the work I do and wants to get back to it, but something that fears change. I’m applying for some jobs in my beloved state. Due to licensing restrictions, the only job I can get back East at the moment is working at the VA if they have any spots open. I’m looking into both options. I’m not sure what will happen in each. What if I get that job in either place and they won’t let me take off the two weeks you plan for this stupid extravaganza anyway? So I don’t know where the heck I’ll be living come eight months from now and by booking glamorous itineraries as if I’m leaving from this state on the East coast is only going to hurt our relationship. I tell you not to do it now because it’ll be costly later you idiot. Canceling flights or even cruises is a waste of time and money and will only lead to us resenting each other. I don’t care if you like to plan ahead. You can plan too far ahead and shoot yourself in your stupid foot!

*Ahem* So yeah, you’re so responsible with finances but you want to do something special now that you’ve got someone special to do things with. I don’t buy it. I get irked by it. GET OFF OF MY DAMN BACK! I know there’s nothing you can do to help my career and I have to help myself. I’ve vented to you how scared I feel. Do something useful in that arena. You cheered me up about it and made me feel like it was going to be all better the other night. But then you go and do this and act like it’s some lovely wonderful surprise. What’s the deal?!? Oh and I still haven’t told my mother yet. Why don’t you be the one to tell a nice worrying Jewish mother, “I plan to take your daughter away on a cruise, but don’t worry, the room has double beds.” Good luck with that.